"It's really up to you and your partner to set the limits of what's okay for punishment and what's not.” “Punishment can include spankings, slapping, choking, use of restraints, or (consensually) forcing your partner into sexual acts," says Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness, a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. For example, if the submissive partner is a "brat" (a sub who enjoys disobeying their dom’s rules), a dom might give you a spanking as a punishment for being naughty.
“There’s no one-size-fits-all playbook for punishment, and not every kinky relationship uses it.”Įvery couple is free to determine the type and severity of punishments they want to use-and the options are essentially endless. “Punishment is a behavior modification tool used in some dynamics to train or discipline a submissive when they’ve defied a boundary or disobeyed an order,” explains Charyn Pfeuffer, a sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating. But in BDSM-an umbrella term that encompasses bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism-punishment can be a major component of sex. “No matter what happens, we’ll still be friends.” you replied softly, “now kiss me before I change my mind.When you hear the word “punishment,” sex probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind.
You may not be able to read his eyes but you could hear it in his voice that he needed reassurance. You swallowed hard at his last statement.